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 Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War

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PostSubject: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 1:55 am

Name: Point Ardenwell
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Race: Human- born into Nobility
Kingdom: Derse

Psychological traits:
Point Ardenwell is a calm, calculating woman with a strong demeanor and an unyielding sense of honor. She’s also fairly bright and polite. Because of her natural ability to strategize and formulate battle tactics, she has quickly assumed the position of one of the commanders in the Dersite army. Although it was unusual for her to have become a commander at the age of 22, her tactical genius and important status in the army allowed her to become close to the old monarchy.

Ever since the Condesce overthrew the Black Queen, she has grown to hate all violence, though she will resort to it if she must. Due to the fact that she must uphold appearances in front of the army, she is good at lying and hiding her true emotions under a façade. Her soldiers view her as a woman to be feared and respected on the battlefield due to her fighting prowess and skill with a katana. During battle, she is ruthless when crushing her enemies. She will not take captives, instead choosing to give them a quick death due to Jack Noir and his agents’ proclivities towards torturing any captives the commanders take after a battle.


She is very passionate about her views and is a gifted orator. When her morals are violated, she is quick to anger and merciless in her judgment. Her true friends are few and far in between, but in return, she will fight for them to the death. She is fiercely loyal to her loved ones, and the last thing she would ever do is to betray them.

To any individuals, she will come across as a pleasant but quick-witted woman. She is also fairly quiet when meeting anyone new, but when they earn her trust, they will find her to be a very warm-hearted but somber woman. To her even closer friends, she will appear to be almost immature and excitable at times. To some, she may come off as abrasive and annoying due to her abrupt replies and blunt honesty, but she won’t do that unless she doesn’t like you (ahem, Jack Noir.)

Point enjoys reading adventure and romance novels, as well as going out for walks in the morning. She also likes taking long showers, singing, and like any other girl born into nobility, shopping, though in her case it applies mostly to weaponry and battle-ready clothing. She has a particular fondness for chocolate and techno music and dislikes extremely warm weather, though she loves snow.


Physical description:
Point is 5’ 5’’, though she wishes she were taller. (She also has a pair of boots she had specially commissioned for her that adds several inches to her height, though she won’t appreciate it if you spread that particular rumor to her troops.) She has shoulder-length, extremely pale, blond-to-the-point-of-becoming-white hair which she prefers to keep in a ponytail when working with her troops. Her eyes are dark blue. She has a very toned body due to her daily regimen of exercise, and is strong enough to wield a full battle axe. Her features would be considered to have a regal but classic sort of beauty to them.

Her usual clothing consists of black armor with a purple sheen to it, though when she’s off duty, she appears in a long-sleeved purple shirt with dusky gray cargo pants. If you happened to look in her dresser, you’d see that she has around six pairs of thick battle boots that lace up to mid-calf. She dislikes wearing the standard dresses nobles wear due to the fact that they tangle around her legs when she runs, though if she is invited to a dance or a formal event, she has an opera dress she keeps stashed somewhere in the back of her closet, just in case.
Point is relatively graceful, but she’s surprisingly clumsy in high heels and a dress. She has an old injury in the form of a scar that stretches from her left shoulder to mid-back, which occasionally gives her back pain on rainy days and when she overworks herself. She doesn’t like it when people remark upon it, though, so she avoids wearing low-backed clothing as much as she can.

Background:
As a child, Point was a cheerful and curious girl. She had a brother two years younger than her named Daniel Ardenwell. When she was about ten, her mother, the Lady Lillian Ardenwell, died in childbirth, and her baby, Point’s-might-have-been sister, was unfortunately delivered stillborn. Due to her mother’s death and the stress of having to deal with the changes Derse and Prospit were undergoing, Point’s father neglected his children, leaving them to fend for themselves. He then avoided them as much as he could, burying himself in his work as one of the commanders in the army.

Point still loved her father deeply, but was hurt because of his withdrawal, becoming a quieter child. She raised Daniel by herself, achieved good grades in school, and had a large circle of friends. Finding that physical exercise helped take her mind off things, she found solace in practicing her swordwork with one of her father’s old blades. She eventually discovered a grove where she could practice undisturbed, and spent much of her childhood in that area.
Point, at the time, cared very little about the political standings of Derse unless it affected her or Daniel.

Her father's deteriorating health forced him to retire at the age of 59, but Point left the palace before either could reconcile. She currently has no idea if he is still alive or not, but if he still is, his whereabouts are unknown to her.

After graduating from school at the age of 18, she enlisted in the army, leaving Daniel in the hands of one of her carapace friends. Although she later on regretted this decision, she still worked hard to rise through the ranks to follow in her father’s footsteps- and that is how Point became one of the commanders of the army.

She served the army for a total of seven years before the Condesce overthrew the old monarchy and usurped the throne. The entire kingdom was thrown into chaos, but not before long, Jack Noir and his agents called in the commanders of the Dersite army for an emergency meeting. Curious, but wary, Point attended the meeting, where she was seized with the other four commanders and held at knifepoint. Interrogated for hours and forced to swear allegiance to the Condesce and the new monarchy, she was finally let go after three days.

Horrified, but now fully aware of the situation, Point escaped from the room she had been imprisoned in. After watching Jack Noir murder their most trusted subordinates, and unable to stand his threats to do worse if they did not comply with the new monarch's wishes, she feared for her brother's life, as well as her own. She looked desperately for Daniel, only to find that the section of the palace in which she had been raised in had been razed to the ground, and the inhabitants all slain. She searched frantically, knowing that the guards would soon discover her escape. Upon finding no survivors, Point finally absconded to the outer reaches of Derse. She remained there for days, and without food or water, eventually collapsed of exhaustion in the streets. She woke in the infirmary of the palace and stayed there for three days when Jack Noir paid her a much unwanted visit. He gave her an ultimatum, one she could not refuse: to either serve the Condesce or watch her brother die. Having no choice, she accepted and has carried out the Condesce’s orders to this day.

Ever since that day, she has hated the Condesce and in particular, Jack Noir and his agents. She does everything in her power to stop their plans, and would willingly join Prince Dirk in his revolution against the Condesce provided she has the chance. She cannot act openly, as her brother is still in the hands of Jack Noir, but she has planned her revenge- and will act upon it as soon as she has enough power. Caught in the complex web of espionage, lies, and innocent blood, Point will do anything she can to destroy the Condesce and her lackeys, even if it means sacrificing her own life in the process.

OOC: Woohoo, finally done with Point’s profile!
Allow me to introduce myself. My nickname is MN, or Mirage Nightray! I live in the USA, (go SoCal!) It’s nice to meet you. I enjoy writing a lot, as well as reading. I’m your average Asian girl, complete with the slanty bangs, glasses, and archaic headphones. Homestuck is one of my latest obsessions. This entire AU is amazing! Props to whoever thought of it.


Anyways, forgive me if Point seems Mary-Sue-ish. This is my very first time RPing as anyone, really, so any pointers would be awesome. The most I’ve ever done is Karkat and Terezi, and even then that was only on Omegle. //shot// At any rate, I’ve already drawn Point- it just rests upon me being able to somehow upload it to the computer and color it as well.

Website: Tumblr? www.mirage-nightray.tumblr.com. I don’t use it very often, though (but that might change once I get out of school and summer starts.) You can also find me on Deviantart as Mikkien, though I don’t use it very often either. Finding me on Fanfiction is your best bet- the username’s Mirage Nightray.


Last edited by Point Ardenwell on Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:25 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : I needed to fix my background story! ^__^ (and also the 'War Goddess' sounded really pretentious.))
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 3:14 am

Your character sheet is great! Don’t worry, she’s not a Mary Sue!

There are just a few minor problems in your background story to fix and you’re ready to go!

The first thing is that I can’t let you kill off two of the commanders like that, they are roles to be taken by other roleplayers! Though if you really want the agents to kill people, you could say they killed a few soldiers to convince the commanders to swear allegiance to the Empress!
(Also, you might want to include Dave in your commander count, he is the fifth one!)

Second thing is that the nobility lives in the palace of Derse so it’s the part where you said she went back to the neighborhood were she was raised doesn’t work... The rest is ok though, you could say Point went to get her brother and didn’t find him, that she ran outside and looked everywhere on Derse for days and finally collapsed. Then keep the part about Jack Noir blackmailing her with her brother!

I also noticed that you didn’t say what happened to her father... I read he was a commander, but did he retire or is he dead?

That’s about it!

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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 3:53 am

Ok that's perfect! (I didn't see you changed your character sheet!)

Character sheet accepted!

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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 3:57 am

I really like the fact that Derse has a strong lady leading the army! 8D

Welcome on the forum, I can't wait to roleplay with you!
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 3:59 am

Done! Hopefully this one's okay! I originally planned for the commanders that Jack killed off to be replaced with ones he chose, but you're right- it would interfere with any other roleplayer's plans should they choose to also become a commander.

I'm glad you liked Point! I was afraid that she was a little too over-the-top.
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 4:24 am

Nope I don't think she is! D: Her personnality is well-balanced and her background is good! It's not too much considering the rest of the characters' bios! XD (I mean, everyone is either a hero or a very badass antagonist!)
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 4:25 am

Enjoyed my reading! We certainly need commanders like you on Prospit too~

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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 9:03 pm

Welcome! I hope we get to roleplay together c:
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 11:08 pm

I really enjoyed your character description~ I'm glad to see a really badass female character, she's really not mary sue, don't worry about that!

Welcome aboard Commander!
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Tue May 15, 2012 11:53 pm

Sounds like a total badass how exciting! I hope you have fun c:
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Wed May 16, 2012 3:06 am

Ohhh man I love the "ridic powerful warrior forced to do the bad guy's bidding to keep their loved ones safe" trope. Lots of opportunities for conflict & angst!

You've made a really interesting character. And quite a badass at that!
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Wed May 16, 2012 3:15 am

What fun Point was to read about! You have nothing to fear--she is a very entertaining and likable OC, in my opinion. The plotline you developed for her was so astoundingly intricate, and you really came to sympathize for her and her struggles! Loving that she's a total badass by the way~

I'm really looking forward to seeing more of Point and getting to RP with you in the future!
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PostSubject: Re: Point Ardenwell- The Servant of War   Thu May 17, 2012 8:29 pm

Thanks to everyone for the comments! I appreciate it. Now that I look at it, it looks like this huge wall of text that everyone has to slog through to find out who Point is. I'm sorry ;___;

Also, Point's text is in blue, though it's a little hard to read. :/

Roxy- thanks for the compliment! I hope I get to roleplay with you as well.
Wow, I'm happy you think I'm badass. It's not everyday that I get to hear that.

John- I'm glad you liked it! I'm also looking forward to getting to know who the other commanders are as well.
Yes, I anticipate the day that I get to know my opponents in battle. Hopefully, there will be additional commanders who join the Dersite army as well.

Dirk- thank you! I'm looking forward to roleplaying with you.
Prince Dirk, it is an honor to meet you! Keep safe and may the Rebellion succeed.

Sollux- thanks and I'm glad you think Point's a badass character! By the way, you are an amazing artist. You've probably heard that a million times already, but I love your art!
Hello, Sollux. I look forward to meeting you in person as well.

Nirana- thank you! I like your character as well. I hope we are able to roleplay sometime in the future.
Hmm, an informant. I might have to become one of your clients sometime. My brother's not going to save himself, and I have no clue where Jack is hiding him either. Perhaps you could help me with that.

Jake- thank you! Haha, I like the drama that Point's past brings into play as well.
Jake, is it? It's a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for your compliment.

Jade- wow, this is coming from one of the best roleplayers on here! I'm glad you liked her past.
Don't mind the amount of 'squee' coming from MN. She's in awe of your penchant for characterization. I look forward to meeting you in person.
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